Imagine lying down on your bed, closing your eyes because you just want to rest.You sense something on your face.
You open your eyes, and suddenly, a creature is hovering over your face. Twisted smile, empty pinprick eyes, dark body that seemed to be made of wispy shadowlike tendrils. It looks just like you, and on its body are white letters. It moves to bite your face, only that when you close your eyes and open it again, it’s gone. It’s not real.
You get into class and beside you is someone you swear has always been there, but it mysteriously unacknowledged by your professor. Sometimes you wonder if the professor exists at all.
You hear whispers, voices, all telling you how stupid you are and how bad it must be to be you. Your life is in shambles, you want to come out of it, but these voices are frightening you that you wish to curl up and cry. At least the music your earphones play drowns those voices.
There is one voice that isn’t mine that helpfully points out what I can do, and sometimes takes over my functions for the day when I’m too stressed. I’m at least thankful for his existence. That’s what I experience.
It’s not a nice experience, it’s fucking horrifying to live in a world where you don’t even know which exist or which don’t. 😶
As a mental health professional you rarely get a real idea of what your client experiences, they tell you symptoms, feelings and thoughts about their progress….not really what they are living🤔 day after day or intermittently/ periodically.
You can see the pain 😵 and can sometimes alleviate 🙂 it, but not a picture of what it looks like for them…Once a person is stabilized they have been able to some what talk about what was happening and I have been told schizophrenia as an out of body experience. This is not everyone’s experience, sometimes a person can verbalize their experiences and sometimes not.
I choose this article because it gives a person a small glimpes of how schizophrenia is experienced by one individual.
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